Saturday, November 21, 2009

Charlotte, NC 11/21/09

The two of you that follow this blog might remember the last time (scroll down) we played the Milestone was one for the record books, if they have a record for smallest crowd at a rock show to still produce a gushing head wound… This time around was a whole different ball of wax.

The place went off! Remember when you were a kid and you’d be watching some movie where the main character wanders into a punk rock bar to use the phone and there is a show going off in the background where people are getting tossed around like Frisbees and beer is dripping from the ceiling, and you’d say to yourself “That’s bullshit. That never happens.”? It did last night.

The highlight for the boys was when Benny jumped on stage to join in on Prehistoric Dog. David was happier than a mule eating garlic.

That was until Benny’s riffs started to melt David’s face off his skull!

Then Valient Thorr took the stage and did what they do best, whip the crowd into a frenzy that makes a school of feeding piranha look like pudding night at an old folks home.
This was our last night with Valient Thorr, I’m sad to report. In the course of ten days we forged a bond with those guys that will not be forgotten. I think I can speak for the band when I say we would fight for those guys. Fist right in the lip if need be. Those dudes are rock and roll and we’re honored to have shared a stage with them.

See you on the road Brothas! You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!?

—Coyle

Tour To Live!

A Bunch Of Places!

All right we got a lot of ground to cover so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. You ready for an optical beer-bong of awesomeness? Then let’s do this.

West Chester, PA. 11/16/09


The boys played at The Note, which besides being owned by Bam Margera is also home to The Glutton, which is the burger of your choice that, instead of buns, has two grilled cheese. John dropped in:


Now as I said earlier, the club was owned by Bam and anyone who has watched the show Viva La Bam knows that it’s made up of a cast of guys from his hometown, one of them being Ryan Dunn. Ryan turned out to be one of the nicest guys on the planet. No joke. He’s the kind of dude that skips the handshake and goes right in for the hug, and means it. After about ten minutes of hanging out he invited both bands to crash at his house.

We walked in the door and we wouldn’t let us make it past the kitchen without taking shots of this:

“Old plum brandy” Not even plum brandy but “Old” plum brandy. Aaron liked it.


Then he gave us a tour of his amazing house, ending in the basement where this was waiting for us:


It didn’t take long for Bryan and Herbie to get the bumpers in motion:
Thanks again to Ryan, not too many people would let ten hair-farming, smelling-like-a-beer-drenched-dog dudes into their reeeeeeeaaaaaallllly nice house. I’m not sure if there is anyone that would let a guy that hasn’t seen the inside of a shower curtain for a week sleep on their Italian leather couch. Thanks.



New York, New York 11/17/09



The GPS freaked out on the way in the city so Glowbra took over and guided us directly to the club:

Which, keeping with the trend of playing celebrities owned clubs, was owned by Andrew W.K.

I took off to go have lunch with my Dad while the boys did an interview for Hightimes with our new homies Zena and Justina:

Things got so stoney during the interview that time completely stopped for Bryan:

Our good friends John and Angelica brought us out on the town after the show:

Benny had sticker shock when he saw the price of a beer costs in Manhattan:

Last call came a couple minutes too late for James:

Woke up with just enough time to grab a slice of pizza and head to Philly.



Philadelphia, PA 11/18/09


Listen, I think we can be honest with each other at this point, so I won’t sugar coat the fact that I was so hung over after New York that Philly was an exercise in not ripping my own eyeballs out, throwing them on the ground, puking on them, lying down on the whole mess and sobbing hysterically. It was the kind of hangover where it feels like everyone is looking at you like this:

I was seeing leprechauns:

Let’s put it this way, if my brain is usually The Taj Mahal, when we got to Philly it was more like this:
It goes without saying that you’re not getting much outta this entry.


Baltimore, Maryland 11/19/09

When we first rolled in to town I thought we were on the set from Batman:
Doesn’t it look like The Penguin is going to jump out and put a cane in your face that spews some crazy knock out gas? Luckily that was not the case. There were just a handful of homeless dudes asking for change.

Can anyone tell me why all the spangers have an ID card in Baltimore? Do they have to get a license? Take some sort of test? “If a man and woman are walking eastbound at three miles an hour and you’re three blocks away walking south-by-southeast at four miles an hour, how long will it take until you make them feel uncomfortable?”

I went for a walk and the boys ordered in some Thai food. Not to long after eating, Bryan starting saying he wasn’t feeling so hot, then about an hour later, in the middle of Bird On Fire, hair exploded from Bryan’s face!

Tyler had never seen anything like it like it before:
Luckily, David had been a medic during the Hair Wars of ’87 and knew that the only chance of saving him was to fight back with heavily concentrated riffs at Bryan’s face.

And Just Like that all the hair sucked back into Bryan’s head.
No Biggie, just another day in the life of Red Fang.

—Coyle

Tour To Live!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Gonna catch up soon.


Been a couple crazy days. Soon as I get my head on straight I'll give you the skinny.


-- Post from Coyle's pocket.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Pittsburgh, PA. 11/15/09

I’m kinda bummed that I got so excited about the porn guy yesterday. That happened in Pittsburgh. Would have been such a great post for today, I couldn’t help my self though.

Bryan was pissed that I didn’t take photos of the guy for the blog, but the last thing I wanted to do was get my ass kicked in a coffee shop by a dude with a boner. Should have done it, that would’ve have been an amazing ending to that story. That’s some shit to tell your grandkids about. “How did you get that scar Grampa?” “Well that’s a funny sorry, Billy…”

Incase you have never been to the Iron City there is one thing you should know, they are deadly serious about football. Everywhere you go is a sea of yellow and black.
Even Old Dirty Ron can’t escape:

So we were a little worried when we rolled into town just in time to see the Steelers lose. They don’t take that kinda stuff lightly. In the end it was an awesome show. The Smiling Moose rules. They took care of us. Sound was great, crowd was awesome, can’t wait to go back. The only complaint I have is I spent three days per diems on the damn porn crane machine thing at the downstairs bar, only to come up empty handed (no pun intended).

Oh well, I guess there is always the coffee shop…

—Coyle

Tour To Live!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Cleveland, Ohio 11/14/09

Aaron noticed that one of the headlights was out on our way out the show, so we got up and found an auto parts store for a new one:
(Insert “How many members of Red Fang does it take to change a light bulb?” Joke here)

Oh shit! So am I at coffee shop right now and there is a guy in front of me on one of the house computers watching porn. Some crazy hardcore stuff too! Who the hell does that? Just chillin, drinking a cup of coffee, watching some Blacks On Blondes… It’s a nice place too, not some hole in the wall, there is a ton of people in here. The best part is Bryan in on the computer right behind him and doesn’t even notice. If he starts unbuttoning his pants I’m outta here.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the Cleve’. Uh… I can’t pay attention, this guy is killing me. Pull it together Coyle. Okay. Blog. Let’s do this.

What do you need to know? Umm… We drank beers out of this tub all night only to find out that someone puked in it and no one washed it before they put beer in it. That was nice.


David had an out of body experience in the middle of the set.

We stayed with our Cleveland homies Bob and Ryan:
Look at those two, a couple of Ambercrombie and Fitch models. Well, maybe if they had an urban party cammo line coming out.

All in all I would say our whole time there was:
—Coyle

Tour To Live!