These sons-a-bitches really heart some parties. Man, there was some dead drunk people at this show, including, but not limited to, the guy that was one minute standing next to the merch table and the next lying on top of all said merch and the guy face down directly out side the front door. Good times, good times...
We spent the day leading up to the show doing all the shit we were trying to do the last couple of days, before everything kept shittin' the bed. Stuff like going to the bank, some grocery shopping and it was decided that my socks needed a washing...
All the drama is over (knock on wood), so let's get back to the good stuff. On today's installment of “Meet The Dudes” I would like you to meet guitar player/singer Bryan Giles.
Look at him. A loner. A rebel. Like a modern day Charles Bronson—with a soda. Bryan, or as we like to call him “The Snuggle Bandit” is not allowed to sleep next to anyone. This is not our rule, but his, due to the fact that if he is sleeping, and someone is next to him, he is going to throw a leg over 'em. I'm not sure if you have ever woken up to a beer soaked yeti trying to mount you, but I guarantee you it will leave a scar that Neosporin can't heal. A deep, deep mental scar.
That's not the only thing you gotta look out for when sharing a room with Giles. You can also wake up to a sound that can best be described as a chainsaw with a idling problem. This is an easy fix, because Bryan isn't a snorer. He has most likely just inhaled a mouth full of his own hair. You just have to go over and pull it out as if unclogging the drain at a YMCA shower.
But don't let him fool you, underneath that mop is a razor sharp brain that can write riffs that will make your brain melt out your ear, can finish your New York Times Crossword puzzle if left unattended and crush you in a game a Scrabble. I've always said that Bryan could stop a nuclear meltdown if you gave him a six-pack and the power plant's owners manual. On the down side, his body also produces farts that smell like hot garbage and reduces everyone in the van to this:
Tour To Live!