RED FANG

Well John lost his camera again, big surprise. So most of the photos in this edition of the blog are what I could piece together from our phones. 11/5/11 Portland. OR. One thing I have never understood is the lack of women at Red Fang shows. Think about it, there is never a line for the women’s room, you know that there is always going to be a surplus of t-shirts in your size and there is a ton of single men. Sure the majority of them look like this: But hey, at least you know they have a lock on all the good spots to eat in town. For that matter you’d think there would be more Bears at the shows, hmm… 11/6/11 Seattle, WA. You know, now that I’m thinking about it maybe we should turn all the shows into singles mixers. It could be a speed dating type thing, but instead of sitting down at a table and talking for two minutes you have to do the old yell in each other’s ears trick and switch at the end of every song. Then if you like the person you say “Hold my jacket, I’m going in the pit!...

I know most of you must look at us with all of our designer clothes, expensive jewelry, moon diamond encrusted teeth and think “Wow, those guys must be rolling in the loot!” But the truth is, everyone of us still has a day job. While getting weeks off at a time is chore in itself, it’s even harder for Bryan and I since we both work at the same bar. It’s not as bad as when John, Bryan and I all worked there, but it still sucks. Now I don’t know about where you’re from but jobs are tough to come by in Portland, some one has to die (and you better hope you heard about it before their unemployed roommate) in order to get decent service industry job. With the touring schedule we have this year Bryan and I have about a doughnuts chance in a fat camp we’ll have jobs when we get home, but that’s not going to stop us from trying everything we can to hold on: —Coyle Tour To Live!

I’ve been sitting here for the last three days trying to figure out how to tie the last three shows together and wrap up the rest of the tour. For a while it started to look like that scene in Ace Ventura when he's trying to figure out the Finkle and Einhorn connection … Then it hit me! What links this all together? Awesomeness. That’s right, All three shows were chock full of awesome. Let’s take a look at some photos and you’ll see what I mean. Denver: A green room full of beer, BBQ and one white pony: Awesome. Staying with Aaron’s folks: Awesome. Look at those two. How can you not have a good time? Maybe if your idea of a good time is getting kicked in the crotch while eating a dog shit taco, you might not have any fun. But if that’s what you really wanted, I’m betting Aaron’s dad would probably work that out for you. Salt Lake City: Punk rock girls with 666 dyed in their head: Pretty awesome. Not to mention getting to hang with Tonino and all the Salt Lake homies. Although, 3.2 ...

He didn’t even get a crowd shot. Not one. Not even his usual blurry-ass-looks-like-he’s-rubbing-Chapstick-and-honey-on-the-lens crap. Just a “Sorry man, battery was dead.” It wasn’t dead ten minutes later when he was taking pictures of this sign and giggling like a schoolgirl at a slumber party: Whatever. We played at Three Kings, which is one of our favorite venues on the road. The staff rules, the crowd rules, everything rules about it. They always take care of us and we can wait to go back. That being said, we are kicking it the green room, just being awesome, as usual, when the door opens up and this girl asks David for a cigarette. David, being the nice guy he is, gives the girl a smoke who takes this as a green light to wave her three buddies in the green room with her. This would normally not raise any eyebrows except for the fact that they were obviously hammered and put out this attitude that they were doing us a favor by hanging out with us. I should point out that earlier in...

First off, can I get a “Hell yeah!” for Denver? Man, Denver always kicks so much ass and last night was no exception. That being said, if I never did the drive between Salt Lake City and Denver again it would be way to soon. It always looks exactly like this: The same horizon for a quarter bajillion miles and the threat of a snowstorm—even in July. And there is always a 2:00 PM load in time or some crap like that, so you have to leave SLC at 4:00 AM. Oh well, the people in Denver always make that drive worth it. The things you do for love… On the drive Bryan came up with another one of his million dollar ideas, the gaming hood: How does it work you ask? It’s easy. You simply take a t-shirt (For the authentic version, wear the shirt for a few days straight. Don’t forget to play three rock shows while wearing it) and stick it over your head. Now grab your PSP or game boy (if you currently live in 1986) and cram it in there with your head to create your own video game paradise. Now do you...

Once again, Denver fucking ruled! Getting there was a little sketchy though. We hit a wall of fog outside of Cheyenne that was like driving through warm mayo. We couldn't see three feet in front of us and when you turned on the windshield wipers it would just coat the window with what looked like a year's worth of soap scum. John almost got a ruptured retina from the eye strain. It was our first time at 3 Kings, but Jeff and his crew took great care of us. Even our old friends from the Hi-Dive helped out by lending us some sub-woofers for the P.A. Thanks guys. The openers, TaunTaun and Kingdom Of Magic, melted our faces off if you get a chance to see either of them, go, you will not be let down. Thanks to everyone that showed up on a Sunday night, it was awesome. Aaron's folks live in Denver and his mom had made us a huge burrito buffet for dinner but due to the attack of the blob in Wyoming we couldn't make it. So after the show it was back to their house to do our wor...