RED FANG

I’m really at a loss as to what I should write about Kansas. It’s not that I don’t have any fodder, there is plenty of crap to write about. It was David’s birthday, we got him good and loose. My friend Eugene who I hadn’t seen in close to twenty years showed up and surprised the hell out of me. That ruled. Bryan met back up with us after being gone for a couple days and his grandma was feeling way better, that made us all real happy. I’m just not sure what ties it all together… Wait a minute, did I just tie them together with the fact that I can’t tie them together? God damn I’m good. —Coyle Tour To Live!

An open letter to the Kansas State Department Of Transportation: Dear Sirs/Madams, While your state is quite beautiful, seven hours of the same view on I-70 is mind numbingly dangerous. May I suggest some of the following to spruce up the corridor between Denver and Lawrence? 1) Billboards with pictures of naked ladies/men. 2) Free range Zebras. 3) Shooting ranges. 4) Packs of bloodthirsty bikers driving dune buggies, hell bent on stealing your newborn and selling it on the black market. 5) More rest areas. More-or-less anything to make staring at this for this for extended periods of time less likely to make you jerk the wheel into some poor farmers field just for some excitement. Thanks for your time, Chris Coyle Road Chief Red Fang P.S. Tour To Live!

Okay, this is starting to get stupid. John can take crisp, perfectly in focus photos all night long but as soon as the crowd shot comes into play, there is a monkey with a brain injury pressing the shutter button. I think he took this before they even played. Whatever. This cold weather crap is for the birds. Wait, no it’s not, because even birds are smart enough to bounce the hell out when the thermostat starts dropping. I mean, come on, it’s October for Christ’s sake. We should not be scraping the windshield, and by we I mean Aaron, while I smoked and took photos. The drive from Denver to Lawrence takes around nine hours and you lose an hour in the process. As far as drives go this one is right between frontal lobotomy and coma on the mind numbing scale, luckily the weather was bad enough to keep us on our toes. The van was so cold the wheels put on one of those shitty dreadlock hats to try and stay warm: The doors opened for the show at 6:00, so we, of course, rolled in at 6:15 whic...

Once again, Denver fucking ruled! Getting there was a little sketchy though. We hit a wall of fog outside of Cheyenne that was like driving through warm mayo. We couldn't see three feet in front of us and when you turned on the windshield wipers it would just coat the window with what looked like a year's worth of soap scum. John almost got a ruptured retina from the eye strain. It was our first time at 3 Kings, but Jeff and his crew took great care of us. Even our old friends from the Hi-Dive helped out by lending us some sub-woofers for the P.A. Thanks guys. The openers, TaunTaun and Kingdom Of Magic, melted our faces off if you get a chance to see either of them, go, you will not be let down. Thanks to everyone that showed up on a Sunday night, it was awesome. Aaron's folks live in Denver and his mom had made us a huge burrito buffet for dinner but due to the attack of the blob in Wyoming we couldn't make it. So after the show it was back to their house to do our wor...