RED FANG

Okay I have a lot of ground to cover here, so I’m going to give you the CliffsNotes version of the last couple days. St. Petersburg, FL. 3/20/11 -After getting the van fixed, we miss the New Orleans show and have to drive twenty-two hours straight to make St. Petersburg. By hour fifteen the van started to smell like energy drinks and sadness. -We rolled into town with just enough time for a cannonball our blues away. -John decided that I should be in a Danzig cover band and comes up with a new genre of rock for me to start called “Bumcore.” Orlando, FL. 3/21/11 -The stage was so high off the ground that the boys had to spend a day at base camp to get acclimated, then hire a Sherpa to continue on. They almost had to leave David to die when he twisted his ankle on an empty oxygen tank that one of the previous bands had left behind. -An ex cage fighter explained to David and Bryan why the best weapon in a street is a human turd on a stick. (no joke) -In continuing with the theme of this t...

Look at that damn photo. I put the camera on auto and John still can't make it work. You should see him up there trying to get these crowd shots, it's like a monkey humping a football. The guy can make every limb of his body play a different time measure, but the basics of digital photography are out of his reach. Anyway... Due to some booking snafu Clutch and Mudvayne had both booked shows on the same night. The promoter thought that the shows might mess with each other so he combined them. This struck me as odd because I couldn't see the Clutch crowd (who are, from what I've seen, blue collar, hard working folk) wanting to watch a band that wears make up, unless it was KISS . Oh well, we had a great time. Lindberg's took care of us, the crowd was cool as hell—no complaints here. They even had this amazing black velvet of Prince ala Purple Rain in the green room: Just when you thought he couldn't get any sexier, huh? You can almost hear that Windjammer revin...