RED FANG

Okay, we gotta lot of ground to cover, so let’s get to it: Indianapolis, IN. 11/17/11 Yeah, this really happened. Barney the fucking purple dinosaur was doing a show in the same building. I know what your thinking, and the answer is yes, he does have really good weed. (Just kidding Barney’s lawyers, I have no idea what his weed is like.) Pittsburgh, PA 11/18/11 There was a time when I’d take notes about what happened in every city so I could remember any funny shit that went down. This was not one of those times. New York, NY 11/19/11 1,800 people in the door before the boys went on. 1,800! Now, I’m no mathamagician but that’s almost a million. Aaron got so excited that his pants broke out in a thick brown sweat: Philadelphia, PA 11/20/11 This is our old friend Paula: She’s a total badass. She’s played bass in Whipped, Tourette’s Lautrec and a bunch of other bitchin’ bands, she’s one of the founding members of Camp Fantasy, a world traveler, has beat the big C and is now a lawyer. She ...

Man, I’ve been slacking on this blogging thing this tour. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you about our amazing adventures as we pillage the countryside, it’s just that there hasn’t been that many adventures to speak of. This tour has a great line-up, totally bitchin’ folks and great rooms but the drives have been brutal. Far bigger than a normal tour. Sure, every tour has a couple that make you cringe, but the amount of road we have to cover daily would have even the most road-scarred trucker calling his meth dealer. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no bitching coming from this camp, it’s just that I really don’t have much to tell you about unless you want to hear about how bad David’s farts smell or how a little piece of you dies when you catch yourself getting excited about truck stops that have diet Mt. Dew on the gun. Here I’ll give you a couple examples of what usually happens on tour and what’s happening this time around: New York, NY 3/25/11 Every other tour: Roll into town, grab...

All right we got a lot of ground to cover so I’m going to keep this short and sweet. You ready for an optical beer-bong of awesomeness? Then let’s do this. West Chester, PA. 11/16/09 The boys played at The Note, which besides being owned by Bam Margera is also home to The Glutton, which is the burger of your choice that, instead of buns, has two grilled cheese. John dropped in: Now as I said earlier, the club was owned by Bam and anyone who has watched the show Viva La Bam knows that it’s made up of a cast of guys from his hometown, one of them being Ryan Dunn. Ryan turned out to be one of the nicest guys on the planet. No joke. He’s the kind of dude that skips the handshake and goes right in for the hug, and means it. After about ten minutes of hanging out he invited both bands to crash at his house. We walked in the door and we wouldn’t let us make it past the kitchen without taking shots of this: “Old plum brandy” Not even plum brandy but “Old” plum brandy. Aaron liked it. Then he ...

Philadelphia, PA. 3/3/09 There is no crowd shot for this show or the next, due to the fact that John was deadly sick for both of these shows. I missed most of it but from the stories it sounded like he was doing a pretty good imitation of that girl from The Exorcist—if her b-hole had been possessed too. While he was spewing forth, I was in the Museum Of Natural History History looking at bitchin' stuff like this: And this: And this: Look at that thing. Animals were so much more bad-ass before they invented Jesus. New York, New York 3/4/09 We tried to get a Red Fang/ Early Man group shot but I had to stand in for John because he was rolling around in his own sick. Good looking bunch, huh? Looks like Anthrax's road crew circa '87, but less healthy. Almost caught up. Gotta sleep. —Coyle Tour To Live!