RED FANG

Los Angeles, CA 3/13/11 After bedding down for an extravagant three hours of sleep in San Francisco we jumped in the car and headed south to L.A. where we met up Lady Time aka/ Lady Fang aka/ Lizzy, Felicia, Ellen, Maureen, Meagan and Sera who were in town to be part of the studio audience for America’s Funniest Videos (yes, it’s still a show and yes they love it. I don’t get it either.) We all go to watch as Forgash tried to do his best Frampton Comes Alive impression: After the show our old friend Rynne invited us back to her place, which doesn’t sound that cool unless you know that Rynne is the longtime sweetheart of Danny Carey . Now I don’t want to sound like we are lining up to swing on Tool’s nuts like a bunch of spring breakers on a Lake Havasu rope swing but Rynne and Danny are two badass motherfuckers. You wanna talk about people that have every excuse to be assholes and are the nicest people ever… and I don’t want to splash their shit all over the web but the guest house...

San Diego is always our favorite part of tour. For going on ten years our good friends at the OTRO house have taken us in, nursed us back to health, fed us, and then left us with some of the worst hangovers of our lives. The kind of hangovers where you feel like you’re spelunking in a pain cave without any water and the only flashlight you have is a hundred pound strobe light that is medically implanted into your brain. The kind that you would be really bummed about if you hadn’t spent the entire night laughing so hard you cried with ten of your favorite people in the world. This time would be no exception. Our show in Mesa ended early so we made the executive decision to make the six-hour trek over night so we could wake up in SD and have the rest of the day off. First things first though, we needed to stock up on crappy energy drinks. As a general rule the worse the name, the better the chance that they are going to be more like the water from a meth lab mop bucket, in both taste and...