RED FANG

We were about an two hours out of San Diego when I decided that I was going to partake in my new favorite activity, Photoshopping my face over the faces of my favorite bands, listening to their live albums and pretending the people are cheering for me at the end of every song. The only problem was that my computer was dead and John was charging his phone, so I plugged in the new one-to-two plug we got for the van’s lighter, put in the DC adapter and John’s phone into it and commenced to live my rock and roll fantasies. A couple minutes into it we all started smelling something funny and it was agreed that it must be the new asphalt that we were currently driving on. That was until I noticed the smoke billowing out of the dash. Luckily the five years I spent living in an oxygen free environment while I was training to a double secret Navy Super S.E.A.L came in handy—I ripped it out of the dash and threw it directly into my lap. The next twenty seconds or so were similar to Benny Hill sk...

Jeez, I didn’t realize how much ground I had to cover. So much bloggin’ so little time. You ready? Get loose. Take a breath. Let’s go. Okay, so we left San Francisco heading for Bakersfield when we got the news that both the other bands had to pull out for some reason or another and the promoter was pulling the plug on the show. Leaving us in the middle of nowhere and two days to make it to Arizona. To most people this would be a blessing in disguise but to us any change in the plans causes panic only rivaled by Rain Man not making it to Wapner on time. Think I’m joking? The band motto is “When in doubt, freak out.” The next hour was spent debating what to do, covering all the bases from drive straight for thirteen hours to Tucson to lets find an In-n-Out and figure it out from there. In the end we pointed it to San Diego end stayed with what we consider our second home the OTROS house. Slept for a couple and six hours hours later we rolled in to Chris Kaufmann’s desert oasis. As usua...