Atlanta, Georgia 3/12/09

If you asked most people what life on the road for a touring rock band is like they would most likely think it was a drug fueled orgy where the only time you are not doing drugs out of a stripper's belly-button is when you're playing to twenty-thousand screaming fans. What they don't picture is five dudes crammed into a van that smells like a combination of Marlon Brando's hemorrhoid cushion and the corpse of John Belushi—in the sun.
There 's no roadies (except me and I don't do shit), no tour bus, no groupies, no drugs off strippers, just a bunch of dudes, most of us married or close to it, sitting in our own filth, driving for hours on end, hauling in the gear, playing, hauling it back out, and hopefully finding somewhere to stay when it's all over. Don't get me wrong, we live for this shit, the only reason I bring it up is after five weeks on the road I am having trouble recalling which show is which.
I know we played at the Drunken Unicorn. I remember waking up at our friend Jeremy's folk's house. Oh wait, now I remember!
Both Aaron and Bryan's amps went tits-up in the middle of the set, leaving Bryan to break into a comedy routine that would have made Neil Hamburger cringe. How could I forget that? I guess it was like watching your grandmother walk into a porn shop, something you just want to block out of your mind forever.

—Coyle

Tour To Live!

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What We Did For Our Summer 2013 Summer Vacation: Part Duex.

Okay, where were we? Slayer. That’s right. So, after all the craziness that was the first couple weeks of the tour we finally settled into our digs for the rest of the tour and met our driver Jens: Things you should know about Jens: The man can drive his ass off. You don’t want to eat his hummus, or he will kill you. If you’re a promoter that ripped off another band he was working for who happens to be at the show he is at, you best find a ATM because he will shake your ass down for all that loot. (Did that make any sense? I don't care.) After a quick bro down with him, we made our way to Interlaken where following a night of hanging with some road homies and watching some Rammstein… Wait, I have to say something right now. I, like a lot of people out there, have never given a good goddamn about Rammstein. Never got the allure. But after watching them live—HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I couldn’t tell you what one of their songs sounds like but their stage show ...

What We Did For Our 2013 Summer Vacation: Part One

Hey there world, it’s been a while—over a year. I know that a lot of bad stuff has happened out there since my last post and I’m sorry, I did not realize that this blog was the delicate thread that held the world together. Now I know and I’m going to try my best to get back on the horse and start really blogging about the important issues that you, the world, crave. Such as the regularity of our farts, and whether or not Bryan’s socks look like a well steeped tea bag. Because then and only then will you, the world, be able to relax knowing all that is important is, once again, available with the click of a mouse and feel free to kick your collective feet up and tackle this whole North Korea thing. But you have to understand, maintaining this blog is not as easy as it used to be for me. You see, now that we are international rock stars with up to 100 people showing up at every show, my duties with the band have changed. In the olden days (back in the early 2010’s) the world was m...

Chadcago 11/12/09

It was brought to my attention here (scroll to comments) that last time we were in town I didn’t do enough blogging about Aaron’s long-time friend Chad Belfor. Actually I’m surprised there wasn’t more comments on this subject. The people need to know what is going on with Chad at all times. The man is the heartbeat of the city, if Chicago is a heart, he is the Aorta. You put your finger on him to see if the city is still alive. For those of you who don’t know him let me fill you in on the enigma, wrapped in a puzzle, that is Chad Belfor: The first thing you might notice is that Chad is a deep well of emotion, look at him: But Chad is much more complex than that. Chad is a man who wears many hats. Husband, PGA card holder, father, former NASCAR driver, musician, gold medal Olympic athlete… Some of these things could be used to describe him. It’s no wonder that confidence just oozes from his pores: You got to be careful though because after he knocks back a couple tall cold ones the wil...

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