Europe Headliner Week One!

Damn, it’s been a wile since I had the time to put one of these thing together. Almost forgot how to do it. Then I remembered the formula:1) Take photos of friends 2) Make fun of them. Not really that hard. So for those that don’t know we are on our first headlining tour in Europe right now with our new homies Black Tusk and it feels good. Like, cigarette after sex good. I myself was pretty excited to see our name on the top of one of these for once:

Sexy isn’t it?

Alright let’s get to the shit.

Segrate, Italy 4/5/12


After taking a flight that looked like this:

We landed in Zurich and jumped in the van towards Milan where we met our promoter Carrado. It was at this time that we learned he would be traveling with us to the next show in Rome. We were already packed in the van butts to nuts but made room for this hulk of a man who spent the majority of the seven-hour drive like this:
A foot from my face.

Bryan, on the other hand, went for the more comfortable floor route:





We also have Whitey with us for the first week and last week of the trip. You may remember Whitey from such of our videos as: all of them. He is the one that wrote, directed and paid for every one. While it’s great to have him along this is getting a little old:

Rome Italy 4/6/12
One thing I love about Europe is the subtle differences. While in the US a gumball machine gives you, well, gumballs in Europe you can get this:
I know what your thinking and the answer is yes we did try to buy some. But the damn thing must have a creepy homeless looking /possible-sex-offender/dudes with food in their beards and piss stained pants sensor on it because it wouldn’t work for any of us.

Speaking of creepy sex offenders, you don’t even want to ask how I got this photo:

Montecchio Maggiore, Italy 4/7/12

I can’t even remember what happened at this show. This is the only picture I have from that night:
Which explains a lot now that I think about it.


Bulle, Swizerland 4/8/12

Meet Black Tusk’s merch/ sound guy Igor, the Mad Russian:

Igor is a special breed, while David and myself are not afraid to order from the stunt menu at most fast food joints or truck stops Igor takes it to another level. For instance this:
That would be a salmon sandwich from a gas station. FROM A FUCKING GAS STATION! That thing should come with a Mr. Yuk sticker, a diaper and a list of E.R.’s in the area.


The show that night was so crazy that in the middle of the set—John just ‘sploded:
It was very Spinal Tap.

Clermont Ferrand, France 4/9/12

We arrived to a note in the bathroom from our old friend Will:

The club was an awesome DIY spot called Le Raymond’s Bar that was sort of illegal which made smoking indoors okay. David took full advantage of it putting down whole packs at a time:

That night we all shared a room and us Red Fangers got to learn the ways of Igor’s snoring . It should have been no surprise that a man who ingests pounds of mystery meats and gallons of beer would sound like a lion in a wood chipper while he sleeps. When I asked Aaron where he was rated among snorers of the world this was his response:
Look at this photo:
That’s not blurry. His snoring actually causes a ripple in the space/time continuim. He is traveling through time right here.

Nantes, France 4/10/12


John got all arty on this crowd shot. What an asshole.



I could talk about the nice people and the beautiful scenery such as this that we came across in Nantes:
But I can’t get this out of brain:
I have one question for you: Am I crazy or does this say The 4 Hor Semen?

I’m not sure what Hor Semen is, but I know for a fact that I don’t need four of them.

—Coyle

Tour To Live!