RED FANG

Where the hell was I? Oh yeah… Buffalo, NY 11/26/11 Okay, so we stopped at Niagara Falls, and it was great and beautiful and all that shit: But the best part was the signs that they have all around the park. While we only spotted maybe three that actually told you anything you wanted to know about the waterfall (that fact that 650,000 gallons a second gave over that bad boy was pretty badass) there was a few others that really got us thinking. Here’s a couple favorites. If you really need this sign to tell you it’s a bad idea to crawl over the fence, well—maybe you should climb over the fence. And it turns out, if the sidewalks get wet up there, it makes you dance like an extra in the Thriller video. Washington DC 11/27/11 On the way to the show we got stuck in a traffic jam that lasted close to three years. When we finally got moving (at this point we were already an hour late to load in and close to two hours from the club) the lady behind us was nice enough to rear-end us. At the ti...

Okay I have a lot of ground to cover here, so I’m going to give you the CliffsNotes version of the last couple days. St. Petersburg, FL. 3/20/11 -After getting the van fixed, we miss the New Orleans show and have to drive twenty-two hours straight to make St. Petersburg. By hour fifteen the van started to smell like energy drinks and sadness. -We rolled into town with just enough time for a cannonball our blues away. -John decided that I should be in a Danzig cover band and comes up with a new genre of rock for me to start called “Bumcore.” Orlando, FL. 3/21/11 -The stage was so high off the ground that the boys had to spend a day at base camp to get acclimated, then hire a Sherpa to continue on. They almost had to leave David to die when he twisted his ankle on an empty oxygen tank that one of the previous bands had left behind. -An ex cage fighter explained to David and Bryan why the best weapon in a street is a human turd on a stick. (no joke) -In continuing with the theme of this t...

Orlando, Florida 3/13/09 So, after the show we are heading over to stay with John's cousin Les and his wife Jen, when we stop by a 7-11 to grab some beer. We are waiting in line to pay for our goods when this guy starts talking to us: Well, to say that he was talking is to give him some credit. It was more of a slur/mumble type thing. I wasn't really sure what the hell was going on but somehow Bryan understood him. Turns out he was a magician and wanted to show us a card trick. At 2:30 in the morning. In a 7-11. While trying to carry an armload Sutter Homes white wine. I just tried to put down in words how absolutely horrible this guy was at magic, and that he told us he did it for a living, but it can do it no justice. It's one of those stories that if you were there, you will never forget. But if you try to explain to someone you'll get back looks that say “ Wow, I'll never get that two minutes back...” Sorry. Shit. Tampa, Florida 3/14/09 Since we only had a coup...