RED FANG

I did pretty good fighting of everyone's sickness for the last seven weeks, but my number has been called. Spent the last couple days coughing up phelm that would make someone with TB cringe. Soon as I'm better there will be a west coast/ tour wrap up coming your way. -- Post from Coyle's pocket.

John and I decided to hop out of the van and ride the train up to LA with our friends Jeremy, Liz and Mike. Kicked it up a notch and went business class, cause that's how we roll. -- Post from Coyle's pocket.

World meet Chris Kaufmann: If you ever get the chance to spend even one minute with this man, drop everything you are doing and suck in all that is Kaufmann. Chris has a zest for life that is rarely seen in our circle of friends. Half man, half black lab puppy, he is chocked full of great ideas and puts out the type of energy that makes you want to be part of whatever it is he's doing. Why not eat a burrito with a chili dog back? Mojitos made out of rum and Squirt? Sure. This is a guy who once talked one of our friends into gambling his last $10 in the middle of a tour by saying “Sounds like you can't afford NOT to gamble.” So it was no surprise to us that, unlike most people who were in the middle of remodeling their entire home, Chris not only welcomed us with open arms but said “Well, all the furniture is already out of the house, let's throw a party!” And party we did, with great food... Some old friends... And good times all around. Grab your box of tissues, here is wh...

John forgot to take a picture again, which is actually okay with me since I didn't take one note about this night, sorry guys. What? Do you know how hard it is to come up with something new everyday? ...And you wonder why I drink...

Trophy's 3/20/09 FXFY 3/21/09 There was another show on the 19th but Sherman forgot to take a photo, lazy sonofa... Okay, originally I was going to write this big sarcastic report about South By South West, but after some consideration I decided against it and here is why: Hating on SXSW is as fashionable as the ill fitting t-shirt, girls boots and costume jewelery wearing rockers that flood the streets of Austin during said event. But I will say that there is something about tens of thousands of people paying hundreds of dollars to spend three days waiting in line that is a silly to me. That being said, I'm going to tell you my favorite parts of this years SXSW in no particular order, I'll keep it short. Ready? 1)Barging Whitey's ultra swank hotel room (which he was barging in the first place). It was the kind of hotel with no lobby, just a “common area” that was equipped with a full stainless steel kitchen, design books, and furniture that was better know for its make...

Will have a SXSW report up soon, but I need a day to try and regain my faith in humanity.

Due to a canceled show in Alabama there was a three day gap between Tampa and our show in Denton. Luckily, Aaron and John's good friend Kayli lives in Denton and was nice enough to put up with us for a couple days. Which was above and beyond since her sister's family was also staying there. So, between her sister's family and us there were seven children running around her family's beautiful home. Thank god Kayli's thirteen-month-old Katie was there to keep us in check. That girl was a bad-ass. Really. She was pounding beers like Lindsey Lohan on the way to rehab: It's too bad I lost the photos of her crushing all those Jager bombs... Later in the night things got a little tense when she ripped off David's sun glasses and called him a “Punk bitch.” He had to fight her, what was he going to do, lose face in front of all us? He got whooped, of course, but there are some things you just can't back down from. A quick dip in the pool the next morning to wash ...

Orlando, Florida 3/13/09 So, after the show we are heading over to stay with John's cousin Les and his wife Jen, when we stop by a 7-11 to grab some beer. We are waiting in line to pay for our goods when this guy starts talking to us: Well, to say that he was talking is to give him some credit. It was more of a slur/mumble type thing. I wasn't really sure what the hell was going on but somehow Bryan understood him. Turns out he was a magician and wanted to show us a card trick. At 2:30 in the morning. In a 7-11. While trying to carry an armload Sutter Homes white wine. I just tried to put down in words how absolutely horrible this guy was at magic, and that he told us he did it for a living, but it can do it no justice. It's one of those stories that if you were there, you will never forget. But if you try to explain to someone you'll get back looks that say “ Wow, I'll never get that two minutes back...” Sorry. Shit. Tampa, Florida 3/14/09 Since we only had a coup...

If you asked most people what life on the road for a touring rock band is like they would most likely think it was a drug fueled orgy where the only time you are not doing drugs out of a stripper's belly-button is when you're playing to twenty-thousand screaming fans. What they don't picture is five dudes crammed into a van that smells like a combination of Marlon Brando's hemorrhoid cushion and the corpse of John Belushi—in the sun. There 's no roadies (except me and I don't do shit), no tour bus, no groupies, no drugs off strippers, just a bunch of dudes, most of us married or close to it, sitting in our own filth, driving for hours on end, hauling in the gear, playing, hauling it back out, and hopefully finding somewhere to stay when it's all over. Don't get me wrong, we live for this shit, the only reason I bring it up is after five weeks on the road I am having trouble recalling which show is which. I know we played at the Drunken Unicorn. I remembe...

(Well la-de-da, one of the band finally writes something for their own blog and it only took five weeks to happen. Baby steps, baby steps...—Coyle) We had been looking forward to this show for a while, with David and I calling Raleigh our hometown. Seen a lotta family and friends on this tour, but I knew the love would be ultra thick in the capital of the Pine State. First stop: Mom and Pop's for some real deal NC barbecue and sweet tea! Now, everybody likes to throw around the term “ barbecue ” when referring to grilling out, but where I come from, barbecue means one thing: slooow cooked pork shredded or chopped and spiced with vinegar and hot peppers. It's often paired with cole slaw, hush puppies, Brunswick stew, and of course Texas Pete hot sauce. That last bit is a little confusing since Texas Pete is made in North Carolina and has absolutely nothing to do with Texas. Regardless, we all ate way too much and spent some QT with two of the sweetest folks I know —Ma and Pa Sh...

Guest Blog: Red Fang Roadie Chris Coyle Explains His Idea of Eating Healthy on Road Posted using ShareThis

Cleveland, Ohio 3/07/09 We had a some time to kill so Bryan cleaned up a little before the show: Soon as we got out of the van I knew we were near the college, it might have had something to do with the two nineteen-year-old kids in front of the Chipotle jammin' out on a flute and a guitar. There was no tip jar or open guitar case, they were just throwin' out some jams for the burrito loving public. Man, the things you think will get you laid at nineteen, huh? Richmond, Virginia 3/08/09 Let's not pull any punches here, expectations were not high for this show. It was in a sushi bar, on a wednesday, and rumor had it that all the kids had left town for spring break. But, as has been the case lately, it turned out to be a rocker. We showed up to six different plates of sushi all about this size: Then RPG played: They completely tore the roof off the place. They were so tight that it was unbelievable. Not in the “You see the new spoiler on my Honda civic?” “Yeah Dog, that shi...

We have had no Internet access for the last few days. All I need is an hour with some weefee and I'll be able to tell you all kinds of shit you don't care about. 'Till then YouTube "sleeping dog" that should keep you busy for a minute. -- Post from Coyle's pocket.

When I finally shit the bed, whether it's dying in my sleep at the age of a one-hundred-and-two or choking on a cigarette butt in a beer can sometime during this tour, there will be a handful of things that flash before my eyes: Jumping up and down on the bed with tennis rackets air-guitaring Black Sabbath songs, getting my first skateboard, my first drum set, and now THIS . —Coyle Tour To Live!

Washington D.C. 3/05/09 Isn't funny how the departure of one person can make an entire city better? Just being in the same vicinity as Obama gave me my own little stimulus package. Speaking of stimulus packages, congrats to our old friend Aaron Draplin on this . Pretty awesome stuff. Speaking of pretty awesome stuff, Earthless left this note in the bathroom for us: I'd get in a fight for Isaiah, Mario or Mike, those guys rule. Speaking of people that rule, we stayed with John's old friend Jeanna: She's goes to school full time, where they teach you about Christopher Columbus. Speaking of Columbus... Columbus, Ohio 3/06/09 Getting to the green room in this place was crazy. You had to go through this hatch in the floor, down a ladder, through a dark hallway to get to it. The whole process was very Silence Of The Lambs, I keep waiting so hear “It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again” come out of the back room. Dammit, if I had the photos that are on...

Philadelphia, PA. 3/3/09 There is no crowd shot for this show or the next, due to the fact that John was deadly sick for both of these shows. I missed most of it but from the stories it sounded like he was doing a pretty good imitation of that girl from The Exorcist—if her b-hole had been possessed too. While he was spewing forth, I was in the Museum Of Natural History History looking at bitchin' stuff like this: And this: And this: Look at that thing. Animals were so much more bad-ass before they invented Jesus. New York, New York 3/4/09 We tried to get a Red Fang/ Early Man group shot but I had to stand in for John because he was rolling around in his own sick. Good looking bunch, huh? Looks like Anthrax's road crew circa '87, but less healthy. Almost caught up. Gotta sleep. —Coyle Tour To Live!

I know it's been a while, shut up. Since it was a while ago and there is a lot of ground to cover to catch up you're getting the CliffsNotes version. Burlington, Vermont 2/25/09 They had the best food of any club on tour: Yeah that's pork tenderloin, salmon, potato leek soup, garlic mashers... What you don't see is the cheesecake and chocolate torte. It was stupid. Really. It was Maurice Bryan Giles birthday so we fed him cocktails 'till he looked like this . Awoke the next morning hoping to hear that the trend of naming food after Red Fang had reached Ben And Jerry, but no such luck. Ben, Jerry, if you're out there we got some ideas. Wait—is depression a flavor? Portland, Maine 2/26/09 The one thing that sticks out from this show is a completely shit-faced guy asking me about twenty-five times if I was Reverend Peyton . Poughkeepsie, New York 2/27/09 I can't find the crowd photo from that night, so just imagine four hundred thousand screaming fans throwing...